The Diplodocus

2006 has been the hardest year of my life.  And in many ways, one of the best.  Like the way my standard day-to-day life used to be, writ large: the good times were amazing, the hard times were more difficult than anything I’ve ever faced before.  My apologies for not going into specifics.

Right now, things are a mix of bleak and hopeful.  The most painful parts are over and the path forward seems clear, though certainly not free from obstacles.  Its also a new path; my goals and ambitions are different from anything I’ve felt before.  To get back to a place where I feel strong and secure.  To regain my confidence.   To build a stronger foundation and prove my intrinsic and extrinsic worth.  The goals are astonishingly simple sounding when I think about it.  And that’s precisely why they are so trying.

Luckily, I am still in a position to give thanks.  For my family, who despite our fights and quarrels continue to amaze me with their own peculiar expressions of supportiveness.  For friends, old and new, who listen and laugh and lend clarity when its needed the most.  For having a special someone in my life who despite geographic distance has come to be closer to me than I ever thought possible. 

Sigh.  Such a stereotypical list, no?  But perhaps that says something bigger, that no matter how bad things get there are anchors that help keep us from drifting into isolation and hopelessness. 

So for now, forward.  Bhagavan, you dealt me a quite a hand in 2006.  And I admit: at times, I misplayed.  But 2007 is coming, and I’m tired of looking back.  Its time to start winning again.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled silence, already in progress.