East is West (Bengal) August 23, 2008
Posted by KG in Calcutta, Family, India, Photos, Travels.add a comment
As mentioned, we went to Calcutta last weekend, where the wife got a heavy dose of in-laws. Her first trip there was also a good excuse for us to be actual tourists — something I haven’t had a chance to do in many years. Unsurprisingly, it was another major Indian city, and thus felt only slightly more relaxing than Bombay. (If anyone comes to visit and can come up with a place less relaxing than Bombay, please let me know so I can avoid it.) That said, the trip gave us the chance to see some bits of older India, like…
hand-pulled rickshaws…
old, winding lanes…
the Victoria Memorial…
… (which was cooler than I remembered)…
… a massive line at Dakhineswar…
… Ma Ganga at sunset…
… and my Grandmother, aka Piu Piu.
It’s pretty enlightening to view Calcutta through the lens of living in another Indian city. I’d always associated it with crowds, traffic snarls, and filth. But after being in Bombay for three months, Calcutta almost felt… serene. Strange, how perspective works.
God Bless Ornery Old Women August 21, 2008
Posted by KG in Calcutta, Family, India, Travels, Wife.3 comments
We got back from Calcutta Sunday, and I’ve got some great pictures to show from my trip. Unfortunately, our home internet is being a bit difficult and we’ve been busy. To tide you over, here’s a poorly lit picture of my wife in a sari, with my grandmother and one of my many, many aunts. (I’m still trying to figure out the camera settings…)
When I asked my grandmother what she thought of my wife, she replied curtly: “I like her more than I like you!”
Relatively Speaking July 7, 2008
Posted by KG in Family, Language, Mumbai.1 comment so far
The wife is regularly amused by the Indian/South Asian/whatever concept of the cousin-brother, that is, the cousin someone grew up with who is close enough to be considered a brother. It makes a lot of sense to me. There’s no actual word in the Indian languages I know for “cousin.” They all translate into “brother/sister who’s uncle’s/aunt’s child.” And it gets infinite degrees more complex than that. The English word for “uncle” is simultaneously more rigidly and loosely defined than its Indian equivalent(s). Thinking about how to explain it without the benefit of a chart gives me a headache. Basically, we’re in a country where family relations run (or, if you believe the local media, ran) broad and deep. Imagine if everyone had a living lineage as complex and well known as European royalty. It’s kind of like that.
Cutting to the chase, yesterday my wife met some of my Indian relatives for the first time. The older one calls me nephew, his daughter calls me “dada” — the word for older brother. We’ve known each other for years, and though I can’t say we’re close, they’re definitely close to my parents and my father’s immediate family. We also met my newest relative…
If you want to get specific about it, this is my great-grandfather’s brother’s son’s son’s daughter’s daughter. The closest relative we share is my (and her mom’s) great-great-grandfather, who was living around the time of the US Civil War. I’m not exactly sure what I’d call her by Western reckoning*, but that hardly matters. She’s cute as can be, and her parents will have her call me uncle and my wife aunty (when she’s verbal).
*My know-it-all wife says “third cousin once removed.” I say “whatever.”
There’s No Place Like November 21, 2007
Posted by KG in Etc., FS Life, Family, Traveling, Wife.2 comments
It’s not just the retailers that have decided the holiday season starts sometime around Canadian Thanksgiving. My client base has as well.
Over the last three weeks, the volume of “welfare and whereabouts” calls (AKA W/W’s, and I have no idea why the slash is there) I’ve taken has increased exponentially. For the uninitiated, these are calls from concerned family or friends asking for the Department’s assistance in finding their loved ones. The stories vary from the tragic to the comic, but share a common aura of despair and sadness. Why the sudden increase? It’s a feeling in the air, I guess: the year’s winding down and people are noticing the empty spots in their lives. Maybe calling the State Department is a last ditch effort — an attempt to fill the missing chair at the table, or at least definitively push it in for another year.
Believe it or not, the Department takes these calls very seriously. No matter how improbable success is, I respond to every request, even if it is with the worst possible news. That’s part of the gut-wrenching side of ACS work; it’s not our place to tell families “maybe you don’t want to hear from X,” only our job to pass the messages along.
It feels like there have been more tears on the other side of my phone of late, more franticness, more manic breathing and screamed entreaties. It’s all I can do to just listen, quietly, and explain my limitations all over again. But in a year of doing this, I’ve learned that there’s a big difference between a happy ending and an ending, and we only have limited ability to decide where a closed case falls on that spectrum.
All work-related angst aside (kind of), I’ve been doing my own reflecting. And believe it or not, it’s good thoughts that pop up. In three hours I’m on a train north to see my parents and sister. In 30 days I’m on a plane west to see my wife and mother-in-law. Life’s not perfect, but I’m doing everything in my power to move it towards happy. For that inner strength, part inherited and part learned over many tough years, I’m truly thankful.
Happy Thankgiving!
Come, Before the Tourists Get Here October 8, 2006
Posted by KG in Dhaka, Family.add a comment
The Parents came and left Dhaka, repeating in many ways my whirlwind trip to Calcutta the week before. One full day was not enough to show them all of this city, but we got to see the highlights, including the massive mall, the National Assembly building, and the obligatory trip to the Dhakeshwari Mandir. There was also much shopping to be done, and I swear their suitcase left Dhaka at least ten pounds heavier. They were pleasantly surprised by the DHK, at its wide avenues, lack of air pollution, and greenery. Likewise at its unpredictability, the chaos that is so ever present that it ceases to be surprising.
The best part about the folks visiting was the fact that the roles were reversed and I got to play host to them for once. It was comforting to have them in the spare room (snoring away as usual), seeing a city that I’m coming to think of as home through new eyes. It helped immensely that they actually enjoyed Dhaka. I’m hoping that they come back.
In that vein: Dhaka. The more time I spend here, the more time I realize what a nice place it actually is. Like any huge — okay, enormous — city in a developing country, it has its own special issues. But its a fascinating place to be, and on the whole very pleasant. The chaos that I found choking and frustrating has become background noise, and its easier now to appreciate the myriad parts of this city that make it so unique. I know I’m speaking from less than a month’s experience here, but Dhaka has something about it all its own that I was definitely not expecting. In many ways, it feels like India did to me back in the mid-nineties, millions of people with untapped potential and a serious love of life, moving through their day to day lives in lungis and shalwar kameezes. Visiting here is not such a scary proposition, and if you come without any prior expections I suspect you could actually find it to be a fun trip. Sure, it may not be Club Med, but seriously: I’ve got a spare room. Give it a try. At the very least, you can enjoy the offerings of Ayub, my unbelievable cook, and hang out with me on the veranda watching the rickshaws go by.
Saal Girah Mubarak-ko May 29, 2006
Posted by KG in Family, Islamabad.4 comments
Saturday was the hottest day I've experienced thus far in my tour, a seriously scorching 47 degrees Centigrade. That's 116.6 degrees for you Fahrenheit fans, and for that matter aren't you a little embarassed that you use such an illogical system? (seriously, a zero point calculated by a mix of water and ammonium chloride? Baffling.)
Despite the heat, it was a great day, and really a great weekend here at Embassy Islamabad. Saturday was frisbee, house parties, and avoidance of the fact that it was my birthday. The Corona was flowing freely and everyone who knew was very good about not really mentioning it. Sunday (May 28th being the traditional kickoff date of Partying like a Rockstar all Summer, whose 2006 iteration has unfortunately been cancelled) was even better. Unfortunately, the day is also very hard to describe given the fact that the dramatis personae are only known to a few dedicated blog readers. But if that's how the Embassy does long weekends, I am really looking forward to Labor Day.
So: my 27th year begins in, of all places, Pakistan. Thankfully, there's no time for cheesy self serving retrospection. Instead, there's lunch to be had, and I think I'm going to go to the pool.
Happy birthday Dad!
Better than the Average ACE Inhibitor March 3, 2006
Posted by KG in FS Life, Family, Pakistan.1 comment so far
Of course, yesterday’s tough news came on my parent’s 34th wedding anniversary. Yet another time where my new career and the mental health of my parents have come to loggerheads. The first time was when I got that green and white flag — you should have seen the tears coming from my mom’s eyes. The months following weren’t so bad for them, but my departure delay has caused them significant stress (let’s leave out the part where they are a contributing cause). Then came the second assignment. All Dad asked for was a place he’d be excited to visit. When bidding, I figured Tashkent was close enough. Alas, they were significantly less than pleased (a certain issue of your favorite free weekly was mentioned in the conversation), though they have since come around to being at the very least not skeptical of tourism prospects.
Thus I was expecting some hard conversation when I called the happy couple last night. Surprise surprise, the old folks took it well. A rough transcript of the conversation, translated from the original Bengali:
Mom: Hi! You called?
Me: Yeah, happy anniversary! How are you?
Mom: Good, your Dad took me to Outback. It was okay, I guess. Are you okay? Did you hear the news from Karachi?
Me: Um, yeah. Its pretty hard, but I’m okay. My friends over there seem to be okay too.
Mom: I guess this the assignment you asked for. Dad says thank God you weren’t there, or else he’d probably be having another heart attack.
Me: Yeah, that probably wouldn’t be good…. listen, does he want to talk?
Mom: No, he says its okay. He’s watching a new episode of CSI.
Shadi saal girah mubarak, Mom and Dad!
Edited to Add: Yes, I know Parade isn’t exactly free, but it comes free with the Sunday Paper, right? So that’s almost the same thing. And that Marilyn Vos Savant is a TOTAL hottie.
Ng8-f6 January 13, 2006
Posted by KG in FS Life, Family, State.1 comment so far
Basically, right now I am a pawn in game of diplomatic chess between the Islamic Republic of Pakistan and the United States Department of State. It’s getting to levels significantly higher than my own, so I can’t comment further on the situation besides saying that things are happening and I am preparing as well as I can.
Dad has responded in a rather amusing way to this, the worst case scenario. “You should be prepared to have to delay your departure,” he says. “Welcome to what I’ve been doing for the last few weeks,” I think to myself.
No matter how old I get, how much responsibility I show, what kind of job I hold, it’s endlessly hilarious how my parents still expect me to be a petulant kid who freaks out whenever he doesn’t get his way. Come on folks, I’m an adult now — I internalize the freaking out. It’s just easier. Not that it isn’t there — but if I’ve learned one thing from this crazy Foreign Service, it’s that you should be prepared well in advance for last minute occurrences. That and bureaucrats have awful taste in ties (I make it my personal mission to change this — when I’m DAS for Wardrobe, people, watch out).
So here I am, blogging in a bland Residence Inn in Rosslyn where I don’t even get the Food Network. It’s really not a bad life for the time being, though the fact that I’m having a goodbye party when I’m not really sure I’m leaving is pretty hilarious.
Limbo: it’s the place to be.
The Ups and Downs January 3, 2006
Posted by KG in Family, State.4 comments
Much has been made about the relative “glamour” of the new gig: Exotic locales, upgraded travel, no rent or utilities, all those things that make bureaucrats so damn sexy. For all the possible downsides (read: possible mandatory time in Iraq, as reports the LA Times), the deal seemed pretty sweet. I was certainly taken by it. Downside? Couldn’t see it.
Well, that’s over. It’s nine days until pack out, fifteen days until wheels up, and I am feeling, well, kinda nuts right now. And the hardest blow thus far: saying goodbye to my sister, who I will not see for more than a year. And just when she was getting interesting (head nod, Connery comma Sean, IJatLC).
But you know, that really isn’t that long. And with luck, the Moirai will smile on me when the next list comes out and ship me off to more accessible or scenic locales. Places where my peeps can actually drop in and crash with me for a while. This whole transient thing is pretty appealing, a long as you accept the fact that you’ll probably have to say more goodbyes than a flight attendant.
Anyway, this blog entry is really just me procrastinating. The Eminem True Hollywood Story is on and I need to figure out if the Islamic Republic of Pakistan will allow my collection of Preacher graphic novels to enter the country (odds: no. To storage they go!).
Sidenote: Friends in need of furniture, stay tuned for details on pickup. Available, one crappy dresser, one moderate quality bookshelf (already promised to Ms. Mathis), more possibly TBD.
Update: Have booked hotels for post packout and NYC consults. No Ritz (boo!) but mucho Marriott (points!), so its not a bad tradeoff. Also have managed to consolidate my library into going with me and not going with me sections, something I thought would be impossible until I adopted a slash-and-burn, “you never liked this book anyway” modus operandi. I’m thinking this is not a good MO to use if I ever choose to have children.
Testing Out Photos December 30, 2005
Posted by KG in Family.add a comment
Let’s see if this works…
Reenee and Me, goodbye party in Columbia, 12/24/05. Eerily similar smiles.
