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Something for the (Foreign Service) Ladies August 23, 2006

Posted by KG in FS Life.
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A little bit ago I blogged about the difficulties of being a single person in the Foreign Service. I forgot a few things, like noting my gender (obvious to longtime readers, but in case you don’t know, male). As noted before, I think being a single female FSO is even tougher than being a male. But wait! From the depths of Craigslist comes a savior for some lucky lady out there. Since the original CL post will expire in a few weeks, and above all I want to preserve this for future mockery, here I present to you “I want to be a foreign service wife“:

Just that. I’m a decent, single, normal guy, good looking and fluent in Arabic, French, and Spanish. I have an advanced degree in international relations, I don’t smoke and never drink to excess. I’m white, tall, in good shape physically, irrepressably optimistic and funny, love kids and am friendly to dogs and all other creatures.

Here’s my story: I grew up overseas as the child of diplomats, and I passed the foreign service exam this year, but find the idea of being Condi’s minion a little tiresome. Instead of being a foreign service officer, I think I’d like to be a Foreign Service Wife. I’d be a great party host, help you make good contacts, impress your colleagues, do morale-boosting things at the embassy, organize school things, take on photography and travel writing, cook, drive, organize vacations, and have whatever marital and sexual relationship you want. I’d live frugally and manage your money so you get more instead of less, and sign any pre-nuptual you want. I’m a catch, so if you want someone to go along with you to the Kerplackistan or wherever, I’m all yours. I’ll even buy you a nice fat diamond ring. I just want to travel and enjoy the foreign service life and I think I’d like to be the bit part instead of the main player. If it can work for Queen Elizabeth, it can work for you.

So? Let’s start with an email, move on to pics, hook up for coffee, and who knows? Maybe we can walk down the aisle before you wrap up your A100 class!

I have so… many… questions. Besides the fact that the phrase “Condi’s minion” is an insult and affront, plain and simple, the entire ad is befuddling. Is this guy serious? Did anyone respond? Did he really say Kerplackistan? And: Craigslist???

One of my main questions, however, is the title. The poster’s acknowledgment that he’s going to be a bit player to his (theoretical) spouse is kind of forward thinking, at least in terms of gender relations. But saying that you want to be the “wife”? Is that a denigration of the status of wife or an invitation to emasculation? Color me very confused.

Still, in the final analysis there is one conclusion I think we can all agree on: barf!

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Comments»

1. Dak - August 23, 2006

While I can understand your consternation, I actually found the guy´s ad to be well-written and funny — I´m kind of tempted to email him. I´m a sucker for a good personal ad, mind you, and religiously comb the I-Saw-You ads, that bastion of desperation, every week, so perhaps I´m not in a position to talk about suych things.

That said, it appears that he doesn´t bat lefty, and my people aren´t afforded too much legal status for bringing along wives, so it seems that he and I won´t be meeting. Sadly.

2. Dak - August 23, 2006

Also, dare I ask the obvious follow up question? Why were you perusing the men-seeking-women section of Craig´s List?

3. KG - August 23, 2006

I guess I can see well written. The Queen Elizabeth reference was nice. Unfortunately, the rest of it just stank of desperation, and that particular odor is not that appealing, no?

As for how I found it, bless MC for passing along a hilarious link sent to her by another (female, natch) A100 colleague who shall remain nameless.

4. Sister - August 24, 2006

That guy is a creep machine.

5. Suz - August 24, 2006

He spelled nuptial incorrectly. Imposter!

6. Kristine - August 26, 2006

I thought the ad was hilarious, Kerpleckistan and all. I just took the “Condi’s minion” bit as “I don’t support the current administration’s policies and don’t even want to pretend that I do”.

And the “Foreign Service Wife” thing was a riff on the ‘wifely’ duties such as being a great party host, helping the breadwinner make good contacts, impressing their colleagues, doing morale-boosting things at the embassy, organizing school things, not to mention sex etc. Things that the not so evolved and progressive still silently (but strongly) believe to be the wife’s job. Has no one from Generation X or Y read the classic essay “I Want A Wife” by Judy Syfers? Take a break from making the world a better place and laugh.

7. abeer - September 22, 2006

um, i thought it was a good attempt at funny silly online dating post, and i have to say, there aren’t enough of those out there. i’d be tempted to mail him as well, except i’d probably rather be the foreign service wife too, without the cooking bit.

8. Driftingfocus - January 7, 2009

I found it kind of funny, personally, but that’s because I saw the reference to “foreign service wife” as a jab at stereotypes.

9. Anonymous - November 10, 2009

i am going into a-100 and if this post wasn’t so old, i’d totally date him. not looking forward to long years as an fso cat lady. . .

10. Ariane - August 21, 2010

I thought it was hilarious.

11. Anonymous - March 3, 2012

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